This week has been an absolute journey for me. I feel as if I have been absolutely torn apart and like I am still tearing.

Have you ever seen "Extreme Makeover Home Edition"? What a great show! If you haven't seen it. They choose a family in need, the family's house is typically falling apart. Then they go and tear their house down and rebuild. It is absolutely incredible!

This is what I feel like God is doing to me this week. I feel like I am the old decrepit house and God is doing an "Extreme Makeover Philip Edition". My stuff is getting tore up if you know what I mean. God is ripping me down emotionally, physically, in all areas of my work and definitely in my leadership. All the skills and talents I thought I had God is tearing to pieces. I guess God is as they say on the show "demo-ing" me this week.

To be quite clear, this week hurts! I feel like such a failure in so many ways, I am seeing so many areas that have not been up to par. I see a filthy old ran down decrepit house. I try to tell myself that I didn't see this before, but I am not being honest. On some levels I have seen this, I have just done what I seem to have done my whole life and I cover it up, or try to explain it away. Like a house with a rotten frame, the sheet rock doesn't hold on forever. God has tore my sheet rock off and my frame is showing.

Am I trying to go all pity party on you? No, I am sharing because I can see what is coming next. I don't believe God is done demolishing me yet, but I can see that when He does get done He will do what they do on the show and rebuild me. That is why, I am sharing my journey as it happens.

Did I ask for this? Yes. I have been praying for God to do this. I just didn't realize that it would be this painful.

My Scripture for this week is Isaiah 64:8 "Yet, O LORD, you are our Father. We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand.

I have personalized this and am praying it: Lord, You are my Father, I am the clay, You are the Potter; I am the work of Your hand.

I will keep you updated on my journey.